Somebody’s Watchin’ Me

If my neighbors ever look into my windows, here’s what they probably observe:

  • Subject spends a lot of time admiring himself in mirror. Ill-spent or at least ill-advised time.
  • Despite attempts at “feeling it,” has no discernible rhythm.
  • Sings excessively. Either to self or to indifferent cat.
  • Loves “Naked Night.” Not a real celebration. Not a party if alone.
  • In love with own semi-emergent triceps.
  • Not as good a singer as subject believes himself to be. Needs more “Jesse’s Girl” and a cappella backup.
  • Slaps belly repeatedly. Possibly an attempted mating ritual. Perplexed by solitary status.
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