Crystal Castles makes for really good Metroing music
I need to watch more MST3K
I go use the bathroom to pee, and I thoroughly wash my hands with soap and hot water for a good minute or two. Guy in stall at the same time comes out of stall, doesn’t flush, and walks right out. Somewhere in between is the right amount of cleanliness.
When in an important meeting with your boss’ boss’ boss, it’s terribly distracting that your godson and the high school version of his dad are staring at you from pictures on her desk the entire time!
Lafayette, IN does not sound like a fun place to visit. I was informed there are a lot of engineers there. It reminded me of that thing that ever nerdy person I know who was in a Masters or PhD program has said to me one time or another: “Oh man, you might think [physicists] are boring, but NOBODY parties like [physicists]!” Apparently nobody parties like anybody. I wonder if engineers all believe nobody parties like them. In my experience, these sorts of parties usually involve a 12-pack of Coors Light split between 5 people … I am not looking forward to this trial in Lafayette, IN.
Cat’s love boxes more than anything in the world. Kir is going to be pissed when you throw that thing away. Just let her keep it, and keep putting catnip in it so she’ll get all zonked out and not bite you for attention.
When your apartment is so small, “taking a night to clean up,” including sweeping, mopping, recycling, cat litter and possibly even laundry will take well under an hour. Except the laundry. That takes about an hour and a half. Don’t include that on the list when you write this fact down – it’ll ruin the impact.
It has been surprisingly easy to transition to two spaces after a period at work, only one space after a period in the rest of my life. I feel kind of rebellious, like I have a secret life outside of work.
Beards get terribly itchy at one point. People who quit at this point are pussies. The itch is how you know the beard is working.
Rudesy has promised to handle the more important aspects of your future funeral. Specifically, he is going to tell the story of the 40% joke. He also says he’ll do his best to get it put on my tombstone (note: mention that you’d rather not be buried but would love an awesome statue with a plaque that reads: We Miss Our Friend. “What is that, 40% off?”)
If you die having never done anything funnier than the 40% joke, you’ve still lived a more fulfilling life than most. Know that you one time achieved greatness.
Seriously … that guy pooped! I could smell it! How could he not have washed his hands?!