Restruction is so a word!
Officially got my start date for the new job. Things have been in a horrible stasis for the last month, with growing anxiety about the job, the new apartment, and generally life. The process is two-fold: mourn the past enough, then make strides towards moving forward. I do not believe forward motion is possible with too many strings to the past, capable of snagging, tripping you up or even flinging you backward as if rubber-banded to some stapled down emotional point. Believe me, the analogies are ridiculous at times, often the “climb up 5 feet, fall down 3” one which is, if I recall, a math problem involving a frog stuck in a well.
At any rate, at some point the frog gets out of the well. And everyone forgets that when he does, he won’t fall back down another 3 feet, cause he’s out of the well.
So yes, start date is now set (barring any government shut down), and everything else now moves forward quickly. Packing to be done, boxes to be moved, painting on the 5th, probably moving on the 19th, car title and registration things to be handled, Ikeas to be visited.
Thankfully, my dear mother took me to Bed Bath & Beyond (I shorthanded this BB&B earlier and confused the heck out of the reader), and suddenly I have new versions of everything. This is part of a process. New life = as few things from the old as possible. So new color schemes for the bathroom (towels, shower curtain), the bedroom (sheets, pillows, blankets) and the kitchen. New furniture being collected (and yes, I am in need of a dinette, a TV stand and a computer desk if possible).
At any rate, its like I have started running down a hill. I am trying very hard to keep up, but every few steps I see my legs buckle a bit, and realize that I am either going to make it completely fine through this section of things, or I am going to fall, crash spectacularly, and (possibly) permanently injure myself.
So let’s hope for a soft landing.
Oh, and Maddy visited me for the weekend, and while Megafaun didn’t play a private show for us, it was still one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long long time.