I tried rabbit for the first time over the weekend. Understand this: I fucking love meat. Not in that stupid “Oh man, I had the best steak last weekend! It was a filet from Morton’s!” kind of dipshit fratbird way. I mean I LOVE meat. I get what chefs and fatsos refer to as the best cuts (read: fatty marble – try a ribeye next time you moron). I want to swim in a sea of drippings. I want to slather myself in duck fat and jump into a frying pan. Upon my death, I want to braise myself and have everyone enjoy Fatass Nachos in lieu of a funeral (probably with some Crowded House playing in the background).
I love meat so much, I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant. (I heart you Tracy Jordan/Morgan)
So having been a duck fanatic for a few years now (and DO try the Duck Confit at Petit Louis despite being tempted by the Steak Frites), I skipped right past the duck options, the steak options, the egg options, and straight to the Rabbit Loin.
Let me tell you about Rabbit Loin.
I don’t know where the loin is, and in my childish imagination it’s definitely near the groin and wang region, but whatever part of the beast is the loin, I want it in my mouth.
The loin was tender and white, with slight grill marks. These long pieces of wabbit flesh were draped across a helping of mashed potatoes, surrounded by a moat of “house reduction” – a viscous brown sauce reminiscent of au jus but with depth, thickness and butter.
Nestled within my gravy moat were cubes of lardons, or fatty bacon cubes, fried on the outside and dripping their salty deliveries into said moat. Accompanying these pillows of cardiac arrestedness were the tiniest, cutest little rabbit kidneys, cut in half and sauteed in the lardons and house reduction. Topping all of this – simple braised brussel sprouts de-bittered and halved. Delicious doesn’t even begin to describe this treat, although I must say the rabbit itself was abit chickeny and seasonless. But the moat of awesome things more than made up for the lacking flavors, and the combination totally came in my mouth like a bukkake wrap party. Yes, that’s the party they throw post-production.
But now that I’ve tried duck, I pondered – am I a convert? Would I rather eat the fluffin bun-buns, or stick with mr. quakers?
The truth of the matter – duck is far superior. For starters, duck is used in some of the most varying cuisines, from Thai food to Chinese food. It can be roasted, baked, or simply heated in an oven! It is dripping with fat, comes out dark and flavorful, and when confit’d or braised, results in the most mouth-wateringly delicious meat you’ll ever wrap your DSLs around.
My god, why is this post about food so sexualized?!
An aside: my friend owns a shirt (he better still own it), a touristy number from Duck, NC. Its got a cartoon duck on it. The cartoon duck is ducking. It says “Duck, N.C.” There’s gotta be like 5 layers to that joke there. Best shirt ever. I am clearly biased by this shirt and thus think ducks are like the best ting ever. (aside to the aside: if anyone can get me this shirt in an XL, I will love you forever)
Point is this: rabbit is worth trying, especially with the crispy lardons and kidneys a la Petit Louis. But duck – its a standby. An old reliable friend with privileges. It has yet to be dethrone, and I challenge any of you to find a rabbit recipe superior to delicious duck nachos.
And in the meantime, I will love eating myself to death in search of a meat better than duck!